Sublime Inner Life

September 7, 2020

Starting again and coming back to my purpose

Here I am to start again and create a new blog! Many years ago I had a blog but somehow fears, procrastination, blocks, and the general dramas and busyness of life got in my way, or I made excuses for why I couldn’t start yet. Even in the last few years I wanted to try again but somehow kept getting stuck, thinking that I had nothing new to write about even though every day my mind and inner life constantly swirl with ideas.

But OK! Enough already with the churning and waiting! I want to get back to writing about the joy and juiciness of life, the beauty and mystery of existence!

So what is my purpose here with this blog and website? I’ve been reflecting a lot on what this is all for, why I am making this website slowly over the years, and generally trying to define my higher purpose in life. I see this website itself as part of my spiritual practice, as a way to distill and condense down what I have learned, my higher thoughts, feelings, and experiences, as well as to discover the interconnections between ideas, meaning, and beauty in the world.

For as long as I can remember, since I was a child, it seems to me that so much of Western society or culture is preoccupied with externalities and superficiality, things that ultimately don’t matter or add value to life. Most of what passes for culture these days seems to be about distraction and entertainment, killing time instead of truly living and instead of truly looking inward at our authentic self. I am always thinking to myself:

When I get to the end of my life will I really care about this x, y, or z thing that the culture deems important? Does this add something meaningful to my life? If I died tomorrow would this x, y, or z thing really matter?

Life is so short and I am here to focus on what really matters (in my humble opinion), which to me is the inner life - a feeling of fully living in the present moment and experiencing a deep joy of being alive. Everything else - the petty dramas of ego, negativity, complaining, materialism, consumerism - is only so much static noise to be filtered out and let go of.

I am not here to sell things, make money, or become famous. I couldn’t care less about those things and lately I debate whether I should try to become completely anonymous as far as my creative pursuits, like music, are concerned. What matters to me are the Higher Ideas and Feelings, and sharing this hidden inner excitement with others about God or Ultimate Reality (in whatever term or form you like to call Her/Him/It). When I feel moved by God or feel a deep emotional connection to Something Higher I feel that experience coming through the photos I shoot, the music I compose, and the words I write. Everything has God in it and we are just conduits for that Love, Life, and Energy to pass through. My hope is that if other people come across this website with my creations that they will also feel that thread of emotional connection to Something Higher, too, and feel called to be inspired and express it in their own unique ways.

In the Catholic tradition it says we are each called in this life to become a saint. What did you do today to manifest your Saintliness and Highest Self? What really matters to you right now if you died tomorrow?